I think you CAN judge a book by it’s cover. Isn’t that the point of the cover? The declaration that you CAN’T judge a book by it’s cover has always been a confusing one for me. We all have a story to tell and our covers reveal to the world exactly what we want others to judge us by. The way we decorate, or not decorate, ourselves each morning as we leave the house and go out into the world speaks volumes about who we are and even where we are going.
When we cross the line from judge to judgement is where we fall into peril. Is it natural to form opinions and judgements about others within the committee that lives in your head? Whether your thoughts and opinions about others are positive or negative is your own business, but be warned: The way you perceive and judge others may have more to do with yourself. How often do we use that same judgement on ourselves? How fair and impartial are you on yourself compared to how you judge others?
I can be pretty hard on myself. Why can’t I step on the scale and simply record a number in my head without the inner monologue about baby weight and not enough “me” time to work on it? Why do I even need to step on the scale at all? No reason really, other than to set the tone of my day: winning or defeated? Depends on the number. But, in the end, that’s all in my head. THAT is self-judgement and it isn’t making me happy.
Letting yourself be prisoner to harsh self-judgement is like being trapped under something heavy. What is gained through constantly being your worst critic and how do we learn this behavior? More importantly, how do we un-learn it. I’m digging deep. Then I’m digging deeper. I want to finally break through to my inner self and reveal the root of all this guilt and negative self-judgement. Now that I’ve picked up the pace and started to muster the courage to go deep, it feels like I’ve gone from a walk to a run. I pay more attention to my initial reaction to a situation instead of dismiss it and move on. I’m becoming an observer of how hard I can be on myself, and others, and I don’t like it. If I had a friend that was as hard on me as I am on myself, I would be very hurt. I need to stop hurting myself and start showing myself a lot more love and patience. I have a choice to be my own best friend or my own worst enemy.
It’s a lot more complicated to judge from the inside, but it’s easy to find the good in people, and yourself, if you try. I do believe that karma is only a bitch if you are.