On Being Mindful

Before I can start making changes, it’s important to start evaluating the things that need changing.  Intentional mindfulness is an acute awareness of how you feel and react in each moment, the goal being to begin practicing this without judgement on yourself.  Being aware of every thought, feeling and intention can be hard to take, but it allows me the ability to start taking inventory of the things holding me back and standing in the way of my happiness.  This level of reflection seemed difficult, and throw in a dose of reality and it can be beyond challenging.  I’m in the midst of raising 2 toddlers and find myself focused far more on their needs than on my own.  Being able to stop and focus on myself seemed selfish and irresponsible at first.  Anytime I tried to take any kind of moment for myself, even taking a bath, I had overwhelming feelings of guilt that I was wasting the time I was supposed to be spending on my daughters.  But, as I move through my days now with the intention of being mindful, I realize that I can benefit from some time to myself to recharge and collect myself.  I now recognize that it is important to identify the things that fill me up and the things that deplete me so that I can move closer to my goal.  So, I am now an intentionally mindful person moving through my days with the goal of learning how to become a happier person.  Just making the decision to learn more about myself has helped me to move towards learning to “let things go” in an effort to actually figure out how to achieve a more relaxed mind in the midst of any chaos.  So, I’m starting to take a long, hard look and hoping to benefit just from being open to it.

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