Life Should Be Wonderful

Believe Rock

Life should be wonderful. That’s what I want to say.

Because people have such an amazing capacity for happiness and because it feels so much better in my body than pain, I believe we are meant to experience and dwell in happiness. Happiness feels better than sadness. Happiness is healthier than sadness.

We come in and go out of this world alone, but in between…. In between we get to make choices and design a life. Some get it right on the first try and others have to shape and mold and learn and grow to build a life that they can love.

This is your universe. It created you, now you create it. You are not a visitor here, you are from this earth… body, mind and spirit. If you work with it, and within it’s laws, you can manifest the life and the feelings that you crave. Visualize your universe shifting and molding into what you want.

Manifestation is a strong and capable beast. If you are living a life that doesn’t suit you, the first thing you need to change is your mind. Release the details of how that change will become your new reality and just believe in your real, genuine heart that you can change your situation. Your mind takes the first steps and your body follows. Throw yourself down a path toward happiness, your feet will catch up.

Energy goes where the attention flows.

You can’t change the world, but you can find joy and be at peace with the world you have created for yourself. If you don’t feel at peace in the place you’ve created then it’s your soul’s obligation to visualize and bring in the change needed to become at peace with your life’s path. It’s that simple. Start seeing the happiness that you want as your quest.

“Whether you think you can or you can’t, either way you are right” -Henry Ford

Feel in your body where you experience stress, pain and sadness. Now clear that slate and recognize where you feel joy, hope and love. Note your results and move forward toward the one that makes you feel more empowered and happy. Feel your body, relax your mind and guide your thoughts toward the things that make you smile. Doing that will change your life for the better, so keep doing it.

I could say that I have a dream to be happy, because I do, but more than that I have a plan.

Here’s my plan:

  1. Keep remembering that life is wonderful and I deserve to be happy.
  2. Visualize a blissful situation where I am happy that I would like to manifest.
  3. Do those again. And again. And again.

And in between I will keep living, keep loving and keep finding ways to bring in more happiness, because life should be wonderful.

photo above courtesy of Scarletina on morgue file.com

Practicing Motherhood

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When I wake up in the morning, I think about the ones in my life that make my heart smile and that thought catapults me contentedly into my day. I look forward to discovering what I can do to make them happy that day and wonder what they will do to make me smile. The opportunity to feel good motivates me. I like being happy, and I like knowing that I will most likely have some lovely peaceful moments coming my way.

I enjoy making breakfast for my girls and getting us all ready for the day ahead. I pack lunches, organize backpacks and put on little shoes. We say goodbye to our dog and hurry out the door. We listen to music and sing in the car after we discuss the day’s schedule. I do all of these things for my girls, but I also do them for myself.

I consider being a work-at-home mom a gift.  It’s a gift for me and it’s a gift for my family. I enjoy being the one who is available to drive kids here and pick them up there. I arrange doctor appointments, activities, holidays and chaperone school outings. I can bring a forgotten special show-and-tell item to school at a moment’s notice and I can be the first mom standing outside the door when the school bell rings. I can take a little girl out for a special lunch for no special reason on any given day of the week and I can grocery shop at off peak hours to make the trip a little easier. I am the depositor of checks in the bank and the filler of prescriptions. I am the 24-hour sick care nurse, the wiper of tears and the Director of The Complaint Department.

How did I get this lucky?

My personal life and my professional life both revolve a lot around making sure people’s needs are met. Having no set work schedule and no office to go to means that I can also cater to my own needs as well. I enjoy being the one who can help out and I’m grateful that I have the time and freedom to do it.

As you revolve around your loved ones, what is your mindset? I could have named all of these activities I do all day long as chores that bring me aggravation and stress, and there are some days that it all does seem like a bit too much.  But, even though my days are filled with surprises and life can be messy and unpredictable, I feel a general gratefulness to be doing what I’m doing with my life. There are far more moments of joy than moments of anguish and there are so many reasons to be grateful for this life that I lead.

The best part about my role is that I’m getting better at it as I go. Mothering is a practice. You could say it is the original and most important job in the world.  The fascinating part of mothering is that we all do it differently and still do it well. My wish is that more mothers would shift their perspective and take pride in their mothering role and feel less guilt about “staying home” because that is so far from what we do. There is so much joy to be found in practicing Motherhood and I will continue to find ways to bring smiles to the faces that I love so much, it’s just part of my job.

The Unlearning

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Life often feels like a series of repeating patterns that move us along on a conveyor belt. We keep duplicating these echoes until the act is so familiar that it becomes mindless. Our days may feel as though they are made up of a series of many menial, mindless, apathetic actions. The repetition is not the cause for my concern, it’s the mindlessness that worries me. We are proficient learners of things that we believe serve us, and we create intentional roadblocks in front of the things we fear. We settle into habit and become the hamster on the wheel either oblivious of the stagnation or frozen in fear of the unknown.  What if the unknown is better? What if the unknown is amazing…

Is this cycle of repetition ok with you? Are you doing what you love? Are you loving what you do? This includes the way you begin and end your day, the way you interact with people, and even the basic structure of your life. Have you taken a step back from this routine to consider whether it’s learned, reproduced behavior being repeated out of ingrained habit, or is it how you truly want to move through your day?  Could you unlearn this structure and pattern to create more happiness and peace?

Even more important is the perspective you hold on these repetitive actions.  Attitude can turn resentment into gratitude. Point of view can change your perception. Unlearning an automatic response can open possibilities of finding joy in something that has felt like a long time chore.

When I made my happy promise, I began to see the small stuff as integral instead of menial, mindless tasks. When I went from feeling heavy obligation to finding bits of joy throughout my day, I found far more than a happy thought, I found more peaceful moments. I began the process of my unlearning.

There are still plenty of ways that I contribute to my own struggle, my hope is to begin shining a light on those blocks I have put up for myself and begin to unlearn my methods that are not serving me. When I come up against something that causes me frustration or pain, it serves me better to stop and consider the real reason behind that root feeling. If I can extract that cause I may be able to examine, process and unlearn the behavior. I can learn to reprogram.

Unlearning is not just about reconsidering and changing, it’s about completely abandoning a behavior. I need to stop planning what I want to learn and leave space to just be open to what comes my way.  I have to be willing to be empty in order to fill myself up with goodness. I realize now that ‘letting go’ is not enough, I have to completely unlearn what I know. I often focus on my ability to let go and get to a calm place, but finding happiness is about releasing the instigating act before it takes hold of me. I want to be able to unclench before a thought or feeling infiltrates my peaceful space. Mindfully examining what part of me responds negatively helps me detach from those feelings.  I believe unlearning is the true method that leads to a peaceful mind.

A peaceful mind creates a peaceful world to live in.

We are all born with the capacity to feel love, happiness and peace and the ability to learn and change. Our natural skill to learn comes from the same place within ourselves where we pull the unlearning. Unlearn what no longer serves you and be open to what could possibly fill the wonderfully empty space.

above photo from MichelleBulgaria on morgue file.com

Live Simply, Think Gently

horse woman TheresaOtero

“Life is simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” – Wisdom of Confucius

I like to be barefoot, I like to take it slow.  I enjoy riding a bike, and I enjoy being near the water.  I like finding beauty in my life where I hadn’t noticed it before.  I like to have time to think before I speak and I like to feel connected to the ones I love.  I like to spend time with horses and I like to walk my dog.  I like to live simply.

I’m moving more toward a simpler life as I continue on this journey.  I have been moved to clean out my entire house this summer and shed myself of anything that has no purpose or meaning.  I’ve shed the clutter in my house as I’ve tried to clear out the negative thoughts that clutter my head.  With less “stuff” to worry about, I find it easier to live mindfully in the moment and create space to really connect with my friends and family.

I want to feel light, I want to feel fresh.  I want to hear wind chimes and birds singing when I step outside into the cool morning air.  I want to feel unencumbered by technology and start my day with my own thoughts.  I like the smell of hot coffee and the feel of warm morning sun as I start my day.  I want to live simply, but I also want to think gently.

This pull toward a simpler existence has spun my mind in directions it’s not used to.  With a life cluttered with tasks and too much “stuff”, I found my mind was constantly on high volume and there were several thoughts competing for my attention at once.  Living simply is not just about my surroundings and my belongings, it’s about living with more ease on the inside as well.  Being kind and gentle with myself involves an effort in my body, mind and spirit.  Quieting the alarms that have been pre-set for ages has not been easy.  Slowing down and trying to think one thought at a time has been a way to start.  Deep breath, look at the sky, close your eyes.  Exhale.  Move on.

I do love the hardly bearable feeling of craving something that I want so badly that I can barely stand still, but I enjoy the calming, soothing feeling of swinging on a hammock in the afternoon more.  I appreciate the feeling of yugen which is to awaken an array of inner thoughts through mere suggestion.  It is an intense, breathless feeling of inspiration and beauty.  But, a feeling such as yugen is meant to be enjoyed in small doses.  You can’t live in a state that takes your breath away, but you can revel in it for a moment, appreciate it, and find joy.  Thinking gently is about finding a state of mind that you can enjoy and still be a productive, functioning member of your life.

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Find balance, seek peace, crave joy.

When you learn to think gently, the volume is lowered and the level of intensity becomes manageable.  If you are kind to yourself and treat yourself the way you would treat someone you love, you may begin to notice more calm feelings and find more space for relaxing in your life.  Gone are the days of feeling guilty for taking a moment to myself.  I’ve reached the age of permission and I’ve earned my right to feel happy just by being born.

We deserve to be happy.  So I’m choosing to live simply and think gently.

 

photos from morguefile.com

Feeling At Peace With My Life’s Path

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I’m really enjoying my energy healing training at The Infinity Foundation and I’m finding myself moving even further forward into a new phase of my professional life.  I worked as an American Sign Language Interpreter for 16 years channeling messages for others, never having input into my work situations, always being a neutral communication facilitator yet there was so much responsibility on my shoulders.  An interesting vocation to say the least.  As the field has changed and so has my life, I’ve found myself pulled farther and farther away from my desire to be an interpreter.  The list of reasons is long, but the pull toward other things is far greater than my pull toward interpreting so this past January, I put my certification and license on hold and decided to officially pursue other interests that I’ve been unofficially seeking out for years.

Oh, I’m so glad I did!  Talk about throwing yourself down a path toward happiness!  Talk about manifesting peace and joy in your existing life!  There is a happier, more zen version of myself waiting to be further discovered, and it wasn’t waiting in someone else’s doctor’s visit or business meeting (as an interpreter) no matter how much I wanted it to be there.  I wanted to explore ways to unlock my full potential in both body and mind in ways I never had before, and more than that I wanted to also help others do the same.  Now I’m on my way to doing that and my promise to find a happier, more fulfilled version of myself is paying off in spades.

For me, taking the next step literally meant putting myself in a new pair of shoes.  I needed to shed myself of the professional life I was leading and completely step into a new phase to finally feel at peace with my life’s path.

Though I still feel a strong connection with The Deaf Community and the many friends I have made along the way, I am ready to move forward into the next phase of my professional life.  I strongly believe that a calm mind can help you create more peace in your life.  I believe I can help people discover more zen in their lives by helping them create an adjusted daily routine incorporating toxin cleansing, spiritual journaling, and/or a regular practice of meditation.  These things have made all the difference in my life and I would like to move forward and guide others to be at peace with their life’s path.

I look into the future with great optimism and excitement as I expand my coaching practice that I began last April into a 3-part coaching system and welcome the opportunity to begin working with people using a more holistic approach.  So much more to come…

Losing The Game, Happily

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I would lose the game of Survivor as reality television has defined it in modern society.  I like to see the good in people, maybe to a fault.  I would fall for every lie and get voted out of the tribe pretty quickly, most likely; my torch ceremoniously snuffed in no time flat.  I find myself longing for more deep rooted connections with people who make decisions with their soul, I don’t have time for anything less.  “The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for”  -Bob Marley.

Along this journey we meet all kinds: the huggers, the secret keepers, the hand holders, and even the ones with broad shoulders that light up our world and give us hope that the energy we give will be well received and maybe even returned to us.  But we also meet the greedy, needy, depleted, obstinate, and egocentric characters who pull us down and drain our positivity and good energy.  It’s never much of a stretch for people who only think of themselves to concoct a useful strategy to get what they perceive will fill their needs.  “The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment”  -Doug Larson.

Our lives are full of choices each day, each minute, each thought.  Our time is too precious to be wasted on anything that doesn’t raise us up and bring us joy.  Anyone who does not get you to that end does not truly have your best intentions tied to their own heart.  “Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be”  -Abraham Lincoln.

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