Leaning In


When you bill yourself as a spiritual kind of person you open yourself up to a world of interesting feedback.  This is nothing new for me, I have been this way since I was a kid, always defending even the nerdiest of nerds to the coolest of cool kids even at the risk of social suicide.  I held strong in my convictions even as a pony tailed little pip squeak with hands on hips shaking my finger at the playground wrongdoers blissfully unaware that I was developing my hippie tendencies into a full blown John Lennon, Give Peace A Chance, Birkenstock wearing adulthood.  I was a peaceful warrior from the get go.

You either have the ability to consider other people and their needs in your field of vision or you don’t.  I truly believe it’s something you are either born with or not.  I like to believe I am tuned in to what others are feeling and that I am capable of becoming even better at anticipating what I can do to reach out to them as I would hope they would reach back to me.  Being in tune often makes me wonder how others can live so off key.

I love that I have found a community of other like-minded, spiritual people that I can feel comfortable around who also live a positive, happy existence.  At the same time, I’m confused by people who have adverse reactions to my positive choices and attraction to paying it forward directly into my karmic bank account, and into the goodness and kindness of mankind in general.

I lean into pay it forward opportunities.  I know it’s the right thing to do and I want my daughters to learn the same way.  Whether it’s as small as holding a door open for someone or as important as returning a found wallet completely intact, there are opportunities everyday to do the right thing and even more opportunities to just be kind.

I have found that being happy begins with being balanced and being balanced requires a spiritual understanding of yourself.  Although I have always found it important to be kind to others, I’m finally truly seeing the importance of being kind to myself.

“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible” – Dalai Lama

Judge or Jury?

I think you CAN judge a book by it’s cover. Isn’t that the point of the cover? The declaration that you CAN’T judge a book by it’s cover has always been a confusing one for me. We all have a story to tell and our covers reveal to the world exactly what we want others to judge us by. The way we decorate, or not decorate, ourselves each morning as we leave the house and go out into the world speaks volumes about who we are and even where we are going.

When we cross the line from judge to judgement is where we fall into peril. Is it natural to form opinions and judgements about others within the committee that lives in your head? Whether your thoughts and opinions about others are positive or negative is your own business, but be warned: The way you perceive and judge others may have more to do with yourself. How often do we use that same judgement on ourselves? How fair and impartial are you on yourself compared to how you judge others?

I can be pretty hard on myself. Why can’t I step on the scale and simply record a number in my head without the inner monologue about baby weight and not enough “me” time to work on it? Why do I even need to step on the scale at all? No reason really, other than to set the tone of my day: winning or defeated? Depends on the number. But, in the end, that’s all in my head. THAT is self-judgement and it isn’t making me happy.

Letting yourself be prisoner to harsh self-judgement is like being trapped under something heavy. What is gained through constantly being your worst critic and how do we learn this behavior? More importantly, how do we un-learn it. I’m digging deep. Then I’m digging deeper. I want to finally break through to my inner self and reveal the root of all this guilt and negative self-judgement. Now that I’ve picked up the pace and started to muster the courage to go deep, it feels like I’ve gone from a walk to a run. I pay more attention to my initial reaction to a situation instead of dismiss it and move on. I’m becoming an observer of how hard I can be on myself, and others, and I don’t like it. If I had a friend that was as hard on me as I am on myself, I would be very hurt. I need to stop hurting myself and start showing myself a lot more love and patience. I have a choice to be my own best friend or my own worst enemy.

It’s a lot more complicated to judge from the inside, but it’s easy to find the good in people, and yourself, if you try. I do believe that karma is only a bitch if you are.

my happy promise

I believe in fate.  I believe that life hands you tons of opportunities everyday and your life is made up of the decisions you make moment to moment.  When I started to think more about my own happiness I started to become more mindful of the small choices I make throughout each day.  I remember having this realization, but I had no idea what that small moment of clarity would bring to me.  About 6 months ago I got an email that I would normally have deleted and never thought about again.  It was advertising an Open House event at a massage and physical therapy center I had used to help ease my back pain during my pregnancies.  In the spirit of finding more ME time, I decided to attend the open house with a friend to learn more about how they were expanding the services offered at the center.  At the event I met a holistic life coach named Allison and had an amazing conversation with her about aromatherapy, healing and ways to incorporate more ME time even in the most menial tasks throughout the day.  I bought some beautiful oils from her and made an appointment to come talk to her soon after.  Most of the journey so far has been guided by her wisdom, and I know it was fate that made me go so far out of my box and attend that event that night.  I owe Allison a big thank you, she is not only wise, but brilliant at being a gentle guide and life coach.  So, thanks Allison, my life is better because of you.


(function() { window._pa = window._pa || {}; var pa = document.createElement('script'); pa.type = 'text/javascript'; pa.async = true; pa.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https:' : 'http:') + "//tag.perfectaudience.com/serve/507e0153f16a97000200001c.js"; var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(pa, s); window._pq = window._pq || []; _pq.push(['datasphere.track', 'BDSP-12593449']); })();
%d bloggers like this: